


Deep Blue

by NightPurity



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blue is hella protective of her paladin, Doesn't end on a much of a happy note, Gen, Hurt Lance (Voltron), I hurt the blue boy too much, Lance is self sacrificing, Mentions of unnamed prisoners, Oh boy my first fic on Ao3 and it's langst, Pidge is a mess, Trans Character, mentions of torture, mentions of unnamed Galra soldiers, transmale Lance, unwilling body modification
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-13 21:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10522236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightPurity/pseuds/NightPurity
Summary: They often joked Lance wasn't serious, they didn't always listen to his sound plans. They didn't always see what Lance hid, nor did they realize just how much Lance did for them.Of course, all it takes is a recon mission gone wrong to realize they can't handle Lance being gone.The halls are too quiet, the castle too cold...There's not much hope for Lance, and honestly, he doesn't want the team to come for him.That's what the Galra want, if they can't break him first.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I'm posting to Ao3, and boy am I starting it on an angsty note;;
> 
> Requests stories and send prompts to my tumblr, nightmares-of-purity!
> 
> Anyways, mentions of torture, unwilling body modifications and langst.

 

Lance huffed as he glared at the guard before him, before his face was forced to the side with another hit. He was not going to give in, let them try, he couldn’t be broken, not when his family and the universe depended on it. Not when all he could do was _not speak._

 

“Give it up, paladin. Where are the lions?!” The Galra soldier demanded and Lance turned to look up at him again, before spitting at him. The Galra growled as he hit Lance again, the blue paladin swallowing his pained cries, only grunting.

 

Everyone else was ok, he managed to shove Keith and Pidge out of the way, saving them from being captured at the risk of himself. He didn’t stress over it, and despite the abuse and torture he endured, he sincerely prayed they never rescued him. The only reason he was alive was because they wanted information, or hoped that the others would come to save their blue paladin. Lance prayed they wouldn’t come, he prayed they would assume him dead and stay safe. They were trying to lure them in with Lance’s bond with Blue, but they didn’t think that Lance could hold her off.

 

“You will break Paladin, and it will be very satisfying.” The Galra spoke, grabbing an unfamiliar tool. Lance was already injured from previous sessions, burns and lacerations, gashes, bruises, and even electric burns. He was alive still, because they thought they could break him, Lance gave a grin, despite the blinding pain he was in, and looked into the eyes of his captor.

 

“Never.” Lance spat, before screaming out as the blade of the tool cut into his flesh, burning and tearing into him. Lance wasn’t going to break, he was a paladin of Voltron, he would rather die than let Zarkon get what he wants.

* * *

 

 

_Two months._

 

It’s been two months since Lance had been taken in place of Pidge and Keith, two months since laughter echoed in the halls, since flattering comments were made, since anyone smiled. When they needed to pilot the lions, Allura tried to pilot Blue, at least until they could rescue Lance.

 

Blue rejected Allura, refusing to allow anyone in her cockpit. The blue lion may be the friendliest, but she was also the most loyal. She would not accept any other pilot until Lance returned. Or their bond was severed by his death.

 

Every now and then, Blue would let out a long and suffering roar. It was full of despair and pain, and often resulted in the other lions joining in. It would get more and more desperate and pained every time, and would resound more often. The castle of lions grieved with it’s occupants, desperate to find their missing paladin.

 

* * *

 

 

Lance stared blankly at the gray and purple tinted walls. He’s so used to seeing it, the cold and painful cell walls stained in red. A constant reminder of his never ending nightmare. His body is littered with scars, he can no longer cry out or scream, his vocal cords damaged from constant screaming during torture, he was just glad they were beating him, cutting him, only physically harming him. The top half of his flight suit was gone, along with his binder, but they only beat him and wounded him, never going any farther than that thankfully.

 

He never once gave up any information, and he could tell they were losing patience. Blinking his eye, Lance let them trail to his bare and bloody legs, littered with cuts, burns, and dark bruises. His flight suit pants were torn to his thighs, but still covered his dignity, or the last shred of it he had. A metal clip was placed on the center of his chest, below his neck, which would prevent him from wearing binders.

 

They couldn’t break him. He didn’t give up when they tortured him, no matter how badly he wanted it all to stop, not when they pierced his ears for more pain during electrical attacks, not even when they took his left hand at the wrist and replaced it with a cybernetic fake, unlike Shiro’s, Lance’s wasn’t a built in weapon, just a replacement to keep him from dying but not letting him keep his hand.

 

He didn’t give up any information, even when they stole his eye.

 

Not even when they destroyed the one thing he held close…

 

His identity.

 

The door opened and Lance closed his eye as he was roughly grabbed, chains on his ankles and wrists rattling and the sound of his blood dripping onto the floor. The cool barrel of a gun pressed to the back of his head. Lance let out a silent laugh, he could careless if they killed him, he wouldn’t tell them anything, and Blue would find a new paladin and take down Zarkon.

 

**_NO!_ **

A rumble shook the ship, causing Lance to slam into the wall with a pained grunt, unable to cry out. The guard was yelling and growling about something, but Lance was silent, his mind numbed with pain that he didn’t focus on the guard’s words. He kept strong, plotting so many escapes, none of which he bothered to execute.

 

He did help other prisoners escape, leading rebellions that got them saved, and him brought in for particularly harsh torture sessions. They had finally given up on Lance, and he knew what that meant when he was lead into the plain dark room, the smell of decay and blood smothering his senses. Lance let his gaze wander the room when he no longer felt the barrel of the gun to his head anymore. The guard was lying under a piece of rubble from the upper floor, Lance took this time to take the gun. Shooting his chains so the links weren’t in the way and so he could run and use full rotations of his arms.

 

**_MINE!_ **

Lance gasped as a loud roar shook the ship, anger washed over his mind in waves, followed by desperation and impatience.

 

Blue was done letting him risk himself, she wasn’t going to lose her paladin. If his team couldn’t get it together enough to get him, she would do it herself.

 

Blue wasn’t letting anything stand in the way between her and her paladin.

 

“Lance!” A voice cried out in the hall somewhere, but Lance disregarded it. It wouldn’t be the first time Haggar used his friends against him, in hopes he would give up, but he never did. Rushing down the hall, Lance took out any guards or drones he came across, ignoring anyone else who got in his way. He knew he was the only prisoner, nothing they did stopped him from helping free others, no restraint held him back because his acting was far too good.

 

He’d tricked many guards into lowering their guard, and he eliminated them. His plans always carefully thought out. Lance caught a glimpse of green, followed by a scream of his name, and he evaded the figure. His pain numbed mind not able to recognize much, just the desperate roars of Blue as she ripped apart the ship looking for him.

 

His only focus was getting to Blue.

 

Lance managed to find his armor and bayard, quickly throwing on the bottoms and upper armor, it was weird without his flight suit, but he made due. Discarding his stolen weapon in favor of his bayard, Lance bolted from the room, his helmet in his free hand. He hear voices calling his name and talking to each other, but he couldn’t think of comprehending them when his mind was shutting down with exhaustion and pain, his wounds leaving a trail of blood.

 

Spinning around on pure instinct, Lance shoots his gun, the beam just barely missing the green figure and hitting the galra grunt behind them in the head. Lance doesn’t respond as they call out to him, instead he turned back the way he was going and continues on. He was so used to the routes from helping a lot of prisoners escape before he was returned to his cell to be punished. The green figure didn’t know it as well as he did, so he easily escaped.

 

Even if it was Haggar using his friends against him again, he couldn’t hurt them.

 

Until the red one nearly rammed him down, but he jumped over the person and continued on, Blue was calling him, desperate to have him back and missing him.

 

“LANCE!” The Red screamed, Yellow ramming into him and knocking them both down as Lance ran from them, only for Black to see him and give chase. He felt like he shouldn’t run, after all they weren’t Galra or druids, but he needed to be with Blue. Black had nearly caught him, but Lance was used to dodging and being evasive.

 

He wasn’t the only prisoner on the ship for nothing.

 

“Lance! It’s us!” Black yelled but Lance didn’t even second glance, easily turning away and continuing. Black kept up chase and Lance continue to try to lose him, but he was failing. Lance stopped and spun to the side, against the wall while Black stumbled to a stop, breathing heavily while Lance stumbled a bit from blood loss and his pain.

 

Then, his helmet glass is covering his face as the side of the ship above him is ripped away and Blue captures him in her jaw. Black looks surprised, but leaves him with Blue as he goes to his own lion. Lance barely recalls getting his armor from the room it was placed it, everything was beginning to blur.

 

**_Mine, Paladin. Always._ **

 

“...” He couldn’t verbally respond, but he let's his feelings flutter through the bond between them. He may not be able to currently recognize his teammates, but he does remember Blue, he let himself nearly be killed to protect her. He comforts her the best he could, thinking over and over about how no matter what they did, he would never give her up.

 

Next thing he knew, he was falling out of a cryopod. There were arms around him, and despite the groggy and weak feeling from the pod, Lance is far used to being barely alive. He tenses, body wound up tight, and he steels himself, before he realizes he’s being talked to.

 

“-Buddy, calm down. You’re okay.” Tensing, Lance doesn’t quite recognize the voice his mind still trying to figure out _where the quiznak am I?_ Still tense, Lance is released from the confines of the person’s arms, and with nothing constricting him, he leaps back leaving a safe distance between him and the other.

 

“Lance?” Oh quiznak, there were more people, and something in his mind told him he knew who they were. He was still trying to get used to not being numb with pain and couldn’t shake the longing for death. He wasn’t being tortured, there was no electricity, burning, no sharp knives or painful tugging on his chains. Lance slowly let his eyes analyze the other occupants of the room. Red, Yellow, Green, Black? Pink and Orange as well.

 

Letting his eye fall to his wrists, Lance could see the scars from his chains, even if they were no longer on his wrists, he quickly moved his hands to his stomach and sides, ensuring he was no longer wounded, his mind not quite comprehending yet, after spending two months in constant torture and interrogation.

 

“Hey, Lance, it’s okay.” A new voice, soft and terrified, and immediately Lance’s eyes locked on Green, small with fair skin and bright amber eyes, worry etched onto their face. Slowly, his mind processed, though he didn’t move closer to them or let them get close.

 

 _Pidge_. His mind supplied and Lance hesitantly reached out a hand, only to rip it away before it touched their cheek. His left hand was gone, and they seen it if the way Pidge’s eyes widened was any clue. Lance tensed, crouching into a defensive pose when Black stepped forward. Lance’s mind slowly process the silver eyes and white forelock. _Shiro._

 

“It’s okay, you’re safe now. I’m so sorry.” Shiro whispered and Lance watched him, backing away when he reached forward.

 

“...Y-You’re…” Lance reached his flesh arm out, carefully, and felt the warm and soft skin of Pidge as they stepped forward to meet his hand. Tears, hot and warm, fell from their amber eyes as they nodded. “ _Alive._ ”

 

“Yeah.” Pidge muttered, voice heavy with emotion as they waited, and Lance caressed their cheek, his own single eye filling with emotion, though he had no tears to shed. His tear ducts had been damaged when they stole his eye. Pulling back, Lance let his eyes rake over the room, Pidge was close, but he flinched when they moved or tried to touch him.

 

“Hunk… Allura… Shiro…” Lance muttered as his mind focused and he realized this wasn’t a hallucination. “Coran… Keith....” Lance continued as he let his eyes linger on each person. Relief washing over him seeing Keith and Pidge ok, and _alive_.

 

“Yeah, it’s us.” Hunk said, tears falling from his eyes as Allura wrapped her arms around her body. Keith had his arms crossed, and he was obviously on the verge of tears, Shiro looked relieved and concerned, while Pidge openly sobbed as they stood as close to Lance as he would allow. Coran was openly crying as he tried to explain what had happened, but the relief of seeing Lance _alive_ was overwhelming, and it was worse because they stole from Lance.

 

“Lance, we’re so sorry we took to long.” Shiro said and Pidge nodded as they hiccuped, they may not have acted like it, but Lance and Pidge were extremely close, along with Hunk, the trio had bonded strongly, and Lance and Pidge bonded even more once they had something in common.

 

“I…” Lance tried to find words, but his mind began to go blank. Blinking, Lance stumbled, flinching and tensing as Pidge caught him.

 

“Lance?!”

 

“Is something wrong?”

 

“Coran, what’s happening?” Lance huffed out a breath as he tried to breathe, his body aching and his mind shutting down. He wanted to sleep, so tired of being unable to sleep without nightmares or torture to follow. He was too tired to force himself to keep awake, despite the nightmares that would follow.

 

“He’s alright, just exhausted. If we can get him to eat and rest, he’ll be fully recovered. I assume they didn’t let him rest much.” Coran said, decisively ignoring the looks Keith and Allura shot him. Lance glanced down and met Pidge’s worried gaze. He missed the affectionate contact, but he was afraid of pain that would follow, his body not ready for contact with anyone else.

 

“Lance, it’s going to be okay. Let’s get some food, yeah?” Pidge muttered and Lance nodded, standing up on his own and pulling away from Pidge, avoiding any more contact.

 

Pidge and Hunk cried several more times, and Keith’s tears fell in silent waterfalls when they realized how much was stolen from Lance.

 

They took his hand, the one with his tattoo his sister and him got together, they stole his eye, and they stole his chance to tell the others his darkest secrets, they stole his privacy…

 

They stole the happiness and innocence Lance used to have.

 

And they stole his ability to enjoy socializing.

 

Hunk teared up every time Lance flinched when he was hugged or touched, Pidge cried as Lance’s secret was found out when he was brought back in Blue. Keith got watery eyes when any half hearted insult made Lance tense and deflate.

 

Shiro nearly cried every time Lance walked into a room without his smiles or laughter.

 

The Lance they knew and loved was taken from them, leaving them with a shell of a traumatized and near broken teen.

 

Smiles slowly returned, but they were strained and his eye never held that sparkle, his laughter was hollow and pained, his jokes were never as joy filled as they used to be.

 

It came as a small bit of relief when Lance could explain to them what happened, and he wasn’t forced to fight in the arena, only kept in a cell where he was left to suffer with his injuries, or stuck in the room they tortured him in. He was only in the cell when he passed out from his injuries, when he woke, he was brought back in for more.

 

Lance now walked around with a heavily guarded aura and he strategic plans were offered more professionally instead of in his joking way. They knew Lance was smart, but after his rescue, he wasn’t hiding it behind a facade anymore, it was like he couldn’t remember how to put up his mask anymore, letting the team see how truly deep his wounds went.

 

He never asked for help though, always turning it around so _he_ was helping _them_ , not himself. He had been so used to handling his own problems, even in captivity, that he didn’t _know how_.

 

It may have been three months since Lance was saved, but Lance never bounced back, he didn’t have flashbacks of his torture or time in captivity, but they did learn he had nightmares.

 

Only because he fell asleep during their down time in the lounge, and had woke up suddenly, no screaming or thrashing to show he was having a nightmare, just him sitting up and tense. He wasn’t focused on anyone’s voices nor could he see them, and he remained still and unresponsive until Pidge touched him. Then he jumped, and flung himself away from her as he began reciting directions and plans to prisoners who weren’t there before his mind caught up to him and he realized he wasn’t in captivity anymore.

 

He was never touched when he woke from a nightmare and someone was around, they softly talked him through it until he came back to his senses, no one touched him without warning or permission either.

 

They didn’t know what to do.

 

The Lance they knew was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> That's that. 
> 
> I'm not much of a good writer, but I love angst and this just hit me and I had to write it.


End file.
